Top 10 reasons computers must be male

10They have a lot of data but are still clueless
9A better model is always just around the corner
8They look nice and shiny until you bring them home
7It is always necessary to have a backup
6They'll do whatever you say if you push the right buttons
5The best part of having either one is the games you can play
4In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on
3The lights are on but nobody's home
2Big power surges knock them out for the night
1Size does matter

Top 10 reasons compilers must be female

10Picky, picky, picky.
9They hear what you say, but not what you mean.
8Beauty is only shell deep
7When you ask what's wrong, they say "nothing"
6Can produce incorrect results with alarming speed
5Always turning simple statements into big productions
4Smalltalk is important
3You do the same thing for years, and suddenly it's wrong
2They make you take the garbage out.
1Miss a period and they go wild


Five reasons computers must be female...

5. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.

4. Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference.

3. The native language used to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

2. The message, "Bad command or filename," is about as informative as "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you."

1. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

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